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Vacation
Playhouse - Season 2, Episode 4 (July 6, 1964)
I and Claudie - Epilogue/Promo for unsold series pilot
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This is the transcript of a 3 minute Epilogue/Promo - a very rare
instance where the actor speaks (in a rural Texas twang) directly
to the audience.
This has been "illustrated" with photos to give a sense of the
clip. (Click
on thumbnails to enlarge) |
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Bet you’re
surprised to see me back again, but I asked my old buddy, Don Sharp, to
let me take an extra minute or two here to thank you good people
personally for letting me visit with you and clear up any curiosity you
may have ‘bout [sic] what the future holds in store for I and Claudie |
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Well, you don’t
have to worry about a thing actually 'cause there isn’t one ticklish
situation we can get into that our individual talents won’t get us out
of.
My brains and his brawn. See, he thinks I know everything about
everything, and somehow or other I just keep trying to live up to that. |
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I
guess that started when I and Claudie first met in New Orleans. Both of
us were flat broke and alone; didn’t even know where the next meal was
coming from.
He’d gotten into some trouble over a lavalier which some [pauses
and clears throat] lady had given him; and since I made the mistake
of telling him I once had
been a lawyer, I had to go to the public
liberry [sic] and read up on breach of promise and all like that there
[sic]. And I wound up a {sic] expert. |
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It
was the same way with cyclones, auctioneering, politics, astrophysics
and seven card stud. See, what it is is I have this photographic memory.
I mean I can
just read a thing once and somehow or other it stays with
me. I mean I actually can see that page. I don’t always understand it
all, but I can sure remember it. |
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And
where it comes in handy the most is in the field of law. Now I admit any
lawyer knows the rules of law, but I specialize in the exceptions. I’ve
never done
anything illegal in my life; I have, however, been known
occasionally to tinker around among the exceptions a little bit. |
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And
somehow or other it always works out we leave our would be patsies a
little better off than there were before. I gotta [sic] admit we do meet
some awful
pretty gals along the way, so we don’t come out losers
either. Course the way we live some people might think we’re just
drifters, but we’re not. |
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We
got a dream in life. We know that one day we’re gonna [sic] climb a
hill that’s never been climbed before. And on the other side there’ll
be something clean
and fresh and green - a land of milk and honey. It’ll
feel like it’s home to us. And we’ll each find some non-city gal
with the taste of early morning air on her lips,
and our wandering days
will be over. |
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Until
that day, our life may be a little uncertain; but it’s kinda [sic]
nutty and fun. And every minute of it is as sweet as a ripe persimmon.
Hope yours is that
way too. |
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