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  Vacation Playhouse - Season 2, Episode 4 (July 6, 1964)
 I and Claudie - Epilogue/Promo for unsold series pilot


  This is the transcript of a 3 minute Epilogue/Promo - a very rare instance where the actor speaks (in a rural Texas twang)  directly to the audience.  
This has been "illustrated" with photos to give a sense of the clip.  
(Click on thumbnails to enlarge)


  Bet youíre surprised to see me back again, but I asked my old buddy, Don Sharp, to let me take an extra minute or two here to thank you good people
  personally for letting me visit with you and clear up any curiosity you may have Ďbout [sic] what the future holds in store for I and Claudie

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  Well, you donít have to worry about a thing actually 'cause there isnít one ticklish situation we can get into that our individual talents wonít get us out of. 
  My brains and his brawn. See, he thinks I know everything about everything, and somehow or other I just keep trying to live up to that.

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    I guess that started when I and Claudie first met in New Orleans. Both of us were flat broke and alone; didnít even know where the next meal was coming from.
  Heíd gotten into some trouble over a lavalier which some [pauses and clears throat] lady had given him; and since I made the mistake of telling him I once had
  been a lawyer, I had to go to the public liberry [sic] and read up on breach of promise and all like that there [sic]. And I wound up a {sic] expert.

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    It was the same way with cyclones, auctioneering, politics, astrophysics and seven card stud. See, what it is is I have this photographic memory. I mean I can
  just read a thing once and somehow or other it stays with me. I mean I actually can see that page. I donít always understand it all, but I can sure remember it.

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    And where it comes in handy the most is in the field of law. Now I admit any lawyer knows the rules of law, but I specialize in the exceptions. Iíve never done
  anything illegal in my life; I have, however, been known occasionally to tinker around among the exceptions a little bit.

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    And somehow or other it always works out we leave our would be patsies a little better off than there were before. I gotta [sic] admit we do meet some awful
   pretty gals along the way, so we donít come out losers either. Course the way we live some people might think weíre just drifters, but weíre not.

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    We got a dream in life. We know that one day weíre gonna [sic] climb a hill thatís never been climbed before. And on the other side thereíll be something clean
  and fresh and green - a land of milk and honey. Itíll feel like itís home to us. And weíll each find some non-city gal with the taste of early morning air on her lips,
  and our wandering days will be over.

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    Until that day, our life may be a little uncertain; but itís kinda [sic] nutty and fun. And every minute of it is as sweet as a ripe persimmon. Hope yours is that 
  way too.

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